Missing in Action – Presumed…?

This evening I realized that I have been missing from my blog for over 2 years.  I make no excuses for my lengthy absence, but I do offer a sincere apology.  Honestly, I’m not sure who I’m apologizing to, since I don’t really have any followers, but I’m sorry just the same.

My absence from WordPress has not been without drama; family, work, and the internal dialogue I carry on with myself, are all constant sources of entertainment, humor and learning.  There really isn’t any hope to catch up two years of events in one sitting, so where to begin?

Major Shake-Ups

There have been a few major milestones over the past couple years.  My husband retired (yes, retired) in June 2010.  While retirement can be a difficult transition for some, Larry has flourished.  He has begun landscaping again, and most recently, began a photography business.  Shameless plug:  www.larrygildsphotography.smugmug.com.  He takes the pics, and I edit them.  We are an amazing team…as long as he stays out of my way!

We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this past June.  Who would have thought we’d make it here, and so quickly!  I’m looking forward to another  30 years with him.  I always knew he was my soul mate!

Grandma Stella passed away in May 2010.  Words cannot express the depth of my grief.  She was my second mother and a very big part of my life.  I miss her everyday.  Grandma, the lessons you taught me will stay with me forever, and I will hand them down to my grandchildren someday.

Grandpa George lost his battle with cancer in 2010.  It was hard to say good-bye.  He was my step-dad’s father, and I will never forget our first meeting.  I was 5 years old, and wanting to practice my good manners, I held out my hand for him to shake as Mom introduced us.  He pulled me into a big bear hug and said, “No handshakes here.  We’re family and there is always room in these arms for more grandchildren!” He was “Grandpa George” from then on.

Larry has a grandson – Cooper.  He was born in January of 2010.  I guess that makes me a grandmother…<gulp>.  He is a smart little kid, and tall!  He’s already 36 inches tall and only 2!  He can recognize his numbers and letters, and talks up a storm.  He loves to eat with chopsticks; using them to impale his food with rather than using them in the traditional way.

I’m sure there have been more events since I last posted, but for the life of me, I cannot draw from that far back.  It could be the late hour making my mind a little fuzzy or the Trazadone I took about a half hour ago to help me sleep.  Either way, my long term memory  is a little out of reach right now.  Nevertheless, this is a start, and I’ll take it. 

In closing, allow me to leave you with this thought:

Simple, Magnificent Miracle

If you’re not happy, it’s because you’ve convinced yourself not to be. If you’re not overwhelmingly joyful at the prospect of living this very moment, your thoughts of negativity are covering up that natural joy.

Your existence is real, it is now, and it is amazing. Your life is inherently fulfilling, and a source of limitless onder and joy.That joy is yours simply by allowing it. That fulfillment is yours simply by living it as it unfolds.

You don’t need to first accumulate a lot of possessions, relationships, experiences or power. All you have to do is to quit fighting and to quit denying the beautiful, unique spirit that is alive in you.

Let go of all thoughts to the contrary, and experience how truly beautiful your life already is. Delight in the simple, magnificent miracle of your existence.

Feel the joy that is always there, ready to flow out from you in limitless measure. Let go of the conditions and limits you’ve placed on happiness, and let that happiness easily and naturally fill your world.                -Anonymous-

Pain & Pleasure

We always have the ability to change our lives for the better. To take the specific actions that will bring about that change, we must first find the motivation within ourselves to do so.

That is the hard part, isn’t it?  Finding the motivation…to do anything!  I KNOW there are changes I need to make in my own life; to improve my health, my well being, and my sanity.  So, where is my motivation?   Who/What am I changing for?  If it isn’t for me, then there is no point trying to do it for someone else.  It has to be for me and me alone.

 I’m tired of continually trying to prove myself worthy of friendship, of respect, of affection.  I’m tired of working to impress others with my wit, my sense of responsibility, and my drive.  The only thing I accomplish through this process is to wear myself out and the fatigue brings on pain.

So I guess to motivate myself I have to set myself up to do two things that come naturally.  Move away from pain and move toward pleasure.

If something is painful, it makes sense that I would be highly inclined to move away from it.  So, it makes sense then to remind myself at the deepest level about the painful consequences of not taking action, of not making the changes I know I must make.  But it is so DIFFICULT!

On the flipside, when something is pleasurable, I naturally and without hesitation move toward it. If I can give myself a compelling reason to change, then it stands to reason that I will most certainly find a way to make those changes happen.

On paper this all makes complete sense to me.  One would be an idiot to continue on the same course of action, expecting different results!  Yet, when I attempt to apply it to my life, it makes no sense at all.  For me, pain and pleasure can most certainly be one in the same.  The pain reminds me that I am alive and the pleasure is the satisfaction of knowing the same.  Still, I know that there are things that must change for me to move forward.  There are demons to battle, anger to overcome, and a self-loathing that I cannot deny no matter how hard I work at it.  

Maybe once I clearly know why I feel the way I do, within the depth of my being, I will figure out how, and enthusiastically do whatever must be done.

Until then, I continue wearing the same groove in the carpet, pacing back and forth, wondering what I can do differently that would really make a difference.  I know I need to make positive changes in my life right now.  I need to move away from the pain of inaction and toward the pleasure of whatever it is I really want.

I only hope that I’m strong enough to accept the consequences. 

“In nature there are no rewards or punishments; there are consequences.”

 –Robert Ingersoll

Little Miracles

I cannot believe I’m going to admit this, but sometime this weekend, I’m going to be a….GRANDMOTHER.  Yep…that is NOT  misprint.  Larry’s son and his wife are at the hospital right now, getting ready to welcome our grandson into the world.  In the midst of our chaotic world, war and peace, feast and famine, here comes this sweet little baby, and the world as we know it seems to stop.  I wish we lived closer – we are about a thousand miles from them.  I thank God for the technology to keep in touch; text messaging, Facebook, etc.  I’m hoping that there will be a photo of our little angel on my phone by the time I wake up in the morning. 

GRANDMOTHER.  Not sure how I feel about that title.  When I was little, my grandmothers were older women, full of stories, advice, and the best smelling kitchens ever!  Mom said that my grandmothers were both in their 40s when I was born as Mom was very young – still a teenager.  So, I guess it isn’t too off base for me to be a young Grandma.  I am so blessed to still have my grandmothers alive and well today!  They both have been a source of inspiration for me.  One worked in an avionics factory for over 30 years and the other worked in a department store mailroom.  They were both very independent women, strong in spirit and fierce in their protectiveness of our family.   Both have since lost their husbands, but they continue to go on.  I have one (my mother’s mother) who is very active; she likes to go fishing and play cards.  She has survived a terrible car accident, breast cancer, and a few surgeries.  She is of strong faith in God, and did a great job of raising her family.  My other grandmother is a southern woman.  Outspoken, extroverted, brilliant, no tact or diplomacy, and I’m a lot like her.  I’m a lot like both of them. 

So, we will see how I handle this new role.  I doubt I will see the little guy for awhile since they are so far away. I just hope that his arrival is safe and that he is healthy and whole.  I’m so proud of my stepson and my daughter-in-law.  They will be  wonderful parents.

Me…a GRANDMOTHER!  Who would have thought.

Fair-Weather Blogger?

Everyone has heard the term “fair-weather friend” to describe someone who only comes around when times are good.  Well, after more than a 5 month absence on my blog, I have started to wonder if my rabid readers are using that term to describe me….and I can’t bear the thought!! 

So, here I am to tell you all, that “fair-weather blogger” I am NOT!  In fact, fair-weather it certainly isn’t!  Oh, meteorologically speaking, the weather has been FABULOUS!  We are having our beautiful October weather here in the middle of November.  You will find no complaints here in that department.  However, metaphorically speaking, the “weather” around here has been pretty bleak. 

I am working hard to remain positive.  The summer was rather rough – teenagers with nothing to do are very dangerous animals.  Animals that would be better left caged, it would seem.  Instead, left to their own devices, they get into trouble, experiment with things they shouldn’t, and generally fray Mom’s rope to within a strand of it snapping in two!  Long story short – my son IS still alive and still living at home! 

My daughter, too, has had her challenges.  Mostly, trying to help her understand that when our 2 year old black Lab, Lexie, has been inside all day, she really shouldn’t have to wait to go out once Mac gets home from school.  GRRR!  Oh, and there is the concept of mouthing-off-to-mom-when-you-have-friends-over-gets-you-grounded has been hard for her to grasp.  There is that 13 year old girl “thing” that I have had a hard time dealing with.  My mother insists that I went through something similar, but I was older than Mac is now.  Incidentally, I have apologized to my mother.  I figured it was the least I could do. 

Yet, with these ominous clouds of doom looming over our humble home, I always manage to find that silver lining just lurking behind the darkest one, reminding me that there are better days to come… 

Larry (my husband) is not going to lose his job with the budget slashing going on in our state government.  And even with all the drama here at home, he is hanging in there; stepping up, and proving to be not just a wonderful husband, but a wonderful father to my children.  They may not be his children by birth, but they are certainly his by love. 

Show choir season has begun for both of the kids.  It is my favorite time of the year.  My reasons are two-fold; watching the kids perform gives me an enormous feeling of happiness, and we are SO busy that there isn’t time for more drama!  Love it!  There is nothing more comforting than the knowledge that there will be constant entertainment for several months!  Who can’t be happy when kids are singing and dancing and having a wonderful time?! 

As for me – fall is proving to be a very busy time.  In working full time, doing the wife and mother thing, AND being a student myself, my daily 24 hr allotment of time is more than filled.  I’m not complaining.  I feel blessed.  Really.  I feel that there must be some purpose to all of this chaos, and someday, I will ask God about it.  Of course by then, I will probably have forgotten what I wanted to ask. 

Life is messy.   I’ll get over it.

The Trees

I think that I shall never see

A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest

Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear

A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;

Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,

But only God can make a tree.

                        —Joyce Kilmer. 1886–1918

I have to agree with the late Joyce Kilmer in her passion for vegetation – especially the trees. 

I love to walk among them on a cool Fall day, marveling at the beautiful colors God provides, and staring in awe at the complexity of their different shapes and sizes.  In the winter, I am truly amazed that the trees survive at all.  In our frigid climate, they stand like skeletons in the snow, waiting to snap in two at the slightest howl of the bitter wind. Yet, they weather it as well as an iron monument.   Spring brings new buds where leaves will soon appear.  The rain nourishes their thawing innards, and I imagine that their branches stretch further across the sky as they beg for more.  As the temperatures rise, and summer begins, I yearn for the shade they provide, and I love the shelter of their twisting branches above me.  It is cool there; I can think there; I can breathe there.  I’m at peace there. 

 In our backyard two trees stood watch over our house; a very large, very old, double-trunked Hackberry tree.  If trees could talk, I wonder what experiences this one would share.  The other, a younger Black Walnut tree, stood straight and tall, right in the middle of the yard, like it came up of its own accord, and grew uninhibited for a number of years.  Today, both trees were removed from our yard; the Hackberry was in danger of falling-its huge trunk split in 3 places, and creaking loudly at the slightest breeze.  The Walnut was causing the soil in our yard to be unfit for other types of plants, and the walnuts could be dangerous to my Lexie should she be curious enough to eat one. 

The stump of the Hackberry is HUGE…it looks as though there were two separate trees that grew up right next to one another and became one tree.  The rings are too numerous to count.  

The backyard has no shade now-no protection from the elements.  And while I will miss their cool refuge on the nearing summer days, plans are being made to plant new trees that will again protect our backyard and its inhabitants.

 I imagine flowers blooming in every corner of the space, a new, maybe flowering, tree in the center of the display.  Something that offers vivid color in the fall, will stand up to our life-threatening winter, bloom in the spring, and in the summertime, reach out with its branches and cover me again. 

 I look forward to the time when I can once again look up and marvel at the beauty that is… my tree.

Drop the Resentment

Wouldn’t it just be wonderful if no one harbored a grudge against any other human being?  What would this world be like?  I think that if everyone would forgive just one person for something they said or did to them in the past, the world would be a lot less tumultuous.

Sadly though, I am no exception to the rule.  I have, and do, hold grudges.  I try not to, and it seems that the harder I try not to, the easier it is to just hold the grudge and move on to the rest of my life.  It is almost like procrastination (another one of my many flaws).  “I’ll just put this forgiveness thing off till next January 1st, and make it tops on my list of resolutions!”   No, I MUST face this head on!  I must try harder to be a more forgiving person.  I must learn not to take everything so personally!!   I should instead try to imagine what it would be like to be in my offender’s shoes.  Are they having a bad day and just taking it out on me?  Have I done something to annoy or irritate them that I’m not aware of?  Are they just angry with the situation and not with me in particular?  How would I know unless I ask?  It could be a real conversation starter; a therapy session, if you will.  I can almost imagine the potential good that would come from such a confrontation.  Too bad that confrontation is NOT one of my strong suits.

No, instead I stew; I brood; I fume over the resentment I hold inside.  Depending on the situation, I do vent from time to time, but I don’t find it particularly effective.  It might alleviate the pressure somewhat, but then I have just passed my bad mood onto another individual, and usually that person is someone I have to live with!  Rather, I’ll just hold onto my irritation. I’ll leave just enough of it showing on my face and in my stance to communicate:  “Get off the sidewalk, make a path.  I’m ticked off and you could be the receiver of my wrath and fury!”

The kids seem to be immune to these displays of resentment, however.  I imagine it is because they are teenagers; wrapped up in their own lives and their own drama to worry about disturbing this sleeping beast that is their own, sweet mother.  One little thing can wake the monster.  “Mom, can I have 15 more minutes on the computer please?”  can set off a tirade having the potential to last several minutes-even hours!   Then, they stand in front of me, incredulous that I had the nerve to spew a lecture to them on the appropriate time allowances for computer usage as it pertains to children.  “Sheesh, Mom.  Get a grip!”

I must learn to focus my energy on the positive.  I must not store up hurt feelings and negativity – they are of little or no use to me.  Resentment makes me feel miserable, and then I resent the resentment — you see the layering effect here, right?  Resentment breeds more resentment. Instead, I will work harder to let go of it.  After all, resentment builds a strong connection between me and whatever or whoever I resent. Is that really what I want to do?
The time and energy that I’m devoting to resentment is just taking away from other things I could be doing. Is resentment really how I wish to spend my precious resources?
Sure, I may not like whatever has happened, whatever brought up those feelings of resentment. Yet the sooner I move beyond it, the better off I’ll be.
I need to stop punishing myself for the thoughtlessness of someone else. I should let it go, and let myself move positively forward.
I’ll take all that energy in my resentment, re-direct it, and make something valuable out of it. What’s happened has happened, yet what will happen next is up to me.
We should all make the next moment one that will give us cause for grateful celebration.

Drop the resentment, and get on with living your own unique joy.  

As for me… I need to make a phone call. 

Polar Opposites

Hot and cold.  Black and white.  Positive and negative.  None of these can exist without the other.  Did you ever consider that?  We don’t know what cold is unless we have experienced heat.  There is no way to determine the absence of color unless we have seen them all.  So, do you suppose it is like that with humans too?  I mean, the old cliche is that “opposites attract,” right?  It certainly applies to my husband and I.  Larry is very quiet, introverted, and he internalizes everything.  I, on the other hand, am not afraid to speak up, extroverted, and no one ever has to guess at how I feel.  With couples, I can see how this opposites attracting theory can work.

What about with parents and children?  The interesting difference here is that one’s children are part of them.   Therefore, there are traits that children and parents share in common, reducing or eliminating the polarity.  If I’m extroverted, and so is my son, could that be why we mix about as well as oil and water?  If my daughter has a volatile temper and so do it, could that be why we are always butting heads?   Oh, I wish it were that simple.  Truth is, no one really knows.  I know that I do not have the time, the energy or the inclination to spend the next ten years or so of my life studying the theory.  I supposed that I could simply keep a record of the number of times that the kids and I disagree from now till they graduate from high school, college, etc., but then I would be spending all my time on the computer, and no time observing.   Then again, if I spend all my time observing instead of participating, I will miss everything.   I can’t win no matter what tack I take.

All I can hope for is that my children will grow up, get their educations, establish a successful career, and then ultimately, find their opposite, so that they can live a full and happy life with someone.   Happiness is all I have wanted for them.  If you were to ask them, I’m sure they would paint you a different portrait of our relationship, but someday, I think they will look back and realize that every decision I made was for their own good.  I truly have their best interests at heart, no matter what kind of ogre they think I am right now. 

Happy and sad.  Loved and loathed.  Saint and demon.  Heaven and hell.  We cannot have one without the other.

Tell Yourself

What are you telling yourself that’s holding you back?What are you telling yourself that’s preventing you from being happy?
What are you telling yourself that gives you permission to be less than your very best? What are you telling yourself that gives you an excuse for not taking action? 

There is much to be said for the ability of positive self-talk to get one through the tough times.  There might be something at work that is really bogging down your mind with negativity.   I know that I deal with this, and unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to let up.  Just when I think I’m doing a really good job, I’m mastering my workload, I’m accomplishing goals that my team leader or I have set for myself, something comes along to just burst the bubble and make me wonder why I keep trying. 

Take today – I had my yearly review.  Barb had many glowing comments for me; praising my positivity, my passion, and my ability to keep the team motivated.  I’m feeling pretty good about it all in all.  And then the hammer falls – I have one item that I need to work on.  One part of my everyday function that I can’t seem to get a grasp on; one thing that I work on consistently and yet my results aren’t consistently good from month to month.  Normally, this wouldn’t bother me, but today, Barb told me that if I don’t resolve whatever it is that is preventing me from making this goal, when we have our next quarterly review, I will have to be reprimanded in writing.  IN WRITING! I have been with the company for almost 11 years and I have NEVER been written up for lacking in performance!  One would think after news like this, I would be feeling pretty low.  Well, yeah.  Of course I was.  I was feeling like a failure.  And then I got back to my desk, and I started thinking about this task.  I realized that I DO have control of whether I improve or not.  I began thinking of ways that I can get to the root cause of the problem, and then I began thinking of a strategy to resolve it.  The positivity was almost infectious the way that it warmed my mind. I began to believe that I COULD accomplish this goal, and that Barb wouldn’t have put in front of me if she didn’t believe I could do it.

I have three months to turn things around. I can.  I WILL do this!

Every moment of every day you’re interpreting the world for yourself, telling yourself what it means and what to do about it. Each time you tell yourself something, you have an opportunity to make a lasting impact on your life.
So tell yourself. “Yes.”

Remind yourself why you have chosen to step forward and give yourself permission to do so.
Tell yourself that you can choose a life of joy and fulfillment right now.

Tell yourself that you’re fully capable of whatever you decide to achieve.
Take the opportunity to tell yourself, again and again, how truly outstanding your life can be.

And then thank yourself for the great advice as you enthusiastically bring it to life. 

My new mantra in the words of the Little Engine That Could…”I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!”

Power Trip

It is an amazing thing, power.  Power pulls the tides, keeps the Earth spinning on its axis, and prevents the moon from crashing into Mt. Rushmore.  Power moves us from one place to another.  Power drives us to the things we want.  Power is our energy, our confidence, and our muscle…physical and mental.  

How do we obtain power?  Is it something that is just given to us like a gift?  Is it a resource that we can hold in our hand, or something that we either have or don’t have?  Is it earned through great sacrifice, or is it just under the surface of everyone’s personality, waiting for the right moment to show itself? Or is it something that can be controlled, materializing the second that it is called on?

Can you imagine transforming your greatest frustrations into valuable and lasting accomplishments? When you can imagine it, you have what’s necessary to begin to do it.

Some of life’s greatest achievements come from understanding what’s holding you back and acting to turn it around. There is great transforming energy in frustration, and that power is just waiting to be put to good and positive use.

Each weakness is an opportunity to develop new strength. Every disappointment can help build your desire and commitment to success.

 

I would like to think that I have power on my side.  I have the power of my faith, the power of love in my family and friends, the power to do anything I set my mind to – within reason.  I mean, I have no desire to see if I have the power to step out of a perfectly good airplane at 20,000 feet with nothing more than a big, silk bed sheet to keep me from plummeting head first into the Earth.  Yet, when it comes to the everyday stuff… I’ve got the power.  I just have to keep telling myself that … over and over again … that I have the power to improve myself.  My new eating plan (notice, I’m not calling it the “d” word) is going pretty well.   I surprise myself everyday with how easy it is to stick to, and how content I am, even at 3pm when the munchies used to take hold and I would head to Vend-o-Land for a giant Snickers bar.  I don’t need it anymore.  I feel comfortable, not running on empty and not busting my buttons on my jeans because I ate too much.  In the last 20 years, I can’t remember a time when I felt this good!!  Now…if the scale will reflect my hard-fought progress come next Monday, I will be one happy camper! To be continued…

 

My boss, Barb, called all of us into a meeting yesterday.  We do that; we have a little staff pow-wow once a month or so.  She gives us all the company news, we bombard her with issues we would like her to address, and it is a really productive session.  Anyway, yesterday, she calls us together and makes a request.  She would like us all to provide her with feedback on her strengths and successes, and — on her “areas of opportunity.”  So, basically, she would like for us to let her know what she is doing right and what she needs to improve upon.  I’m having a little trouble with this request.  Who am I to suggest ways in which my boss can improve her performance?  She is usually the one telling me when I’m screwing up and when I’m doing ok.  Hmmmmm.   Well, I will have to harness the power within, take a deep breath, and think of something.  I can think of many things she does well; she is a good communicator, she does a nice job of adapting to so many personalities (ours, not hers), she is able to really take command of a situation, and she is a rock star when it comes to follow through.  But what about her “areas of opportunity?”  That phrase, “areas of opportunity,” kills me.  It is just a nice way of saying, “These are the things you need to work harder on so you don’t screw them up!”  Well, not exactly, but it feels like that. Where do I go from here?  This is going to require much contemplation and I need to have a plan, a strategy in place before I meet with her.  <”Mission Impossible” music, please> 

                       

                                    Suggestions would be appreciated!

 

I just have to keep in mind that many great fortunes have been created by those who were able to turn around difficult and challenging situations. There is always much room for improvement. The frustrations, shortcomings, pains and annoyances clearly point the way for improving your life and your world.

Instead of regretting or complaining about what’s wrong, choose to make positive use of what is. And transform life into the best you can imagine.

 

You have the power!

Discover Your Way Forward

Whatever it is you choose to do, or to be, or to create, go ahead and begin. Take some initial action, and that action will quickly feed other actions.

Though you may not yet know everything that must be done, you do know of something you can do right now. So do it, and get yourself started.

The first step will enable you to see what the second step is to be. The second step will begin to establish powerful momentum.

Discover your way forward, and uncover joys that you would have never guessed were there. Learn and grow and build and create your way to whatever destination you have chosen.

No situation is ever hopeless. Because whatever the situation may be, the moment you start to take action, you change it.

Begin to act, and your world begins to change. Keep going, and your life takes on more and more of the flavor of your dreams.

 

We all have goals; living debt-free, getting the corner office, improving our health, etc.  But how do we really get there? 

Don’t you hate it when you set a goal for yourself and the prize seems really far off?  That makes me crazy, and I would imagine it is why many people never reach their goals.  They set them too far into the future, or they set them so high that it would take ages to get there. 

I have attended seminars, web courses, and even had talks with management at the company I work for, and the common theme throughout these talks is…

baby steps.  Set your goals small.  Make them attainable, timely, and realistic.  If you really want that VP position and you are in the mail room right now, instead of shooting for the VP’s chair, maybe just try to get out of the basement and into the sales department. 

            …it makes sense, right?

 

One of my big goals is to improve my health by losing some weight – a lot actually.  I have a pretty big number in mind, and if I keep my eyes on that, I’ll never get there.  I know this because it is the sole reason I have failed in the past.  I focus so much on the distant future, that I forget to pay attention to the present, and I lose my footing.  So, this time around, I’m setting my goals small – 5, 10, 15 lbs. at a time – till I get where I need to be. 

 

Sometimes all we need is a new approach, motivation, and inspiration.  Fortunately, a friend of mine has provided me with all three.  He has been eating much better, working out, and has dropped a significant amount of weight in a couple months.  Granted, I’m aware that the metabolisms of men and women are very different.  I also know that I have much more to lose than he does.  None of that really matters though.  This isn’t some weird crash diet, or some exotic Brazilian seed pod that is at the root of the formula.  Nope – just good old-fashioned, sound nutrition with an emphasis on good carbs, lean protein and my favorite – realistic portion sizes.  This is my first week, and so far, I’m not dying of starvation.  In fact, sometimes I have trouble eating all I am allowed for the day…just not hungry!  I am finding that my sweet tooth has calmed, my energy level is up, and my outlook is much more positive. Oh yeah, AND I have completely given up caffeine!!  The headache only lasted a couple hours.

 So, I’m sending out a big THANK YOU to my friend, my partner on this journey.  I really appreciate your encouragement!